when you try to tell a joke but nobody gets it
What would Jesus not do?
Things Jesus would do:
- Flip tables
- Turn water into fine wine to save your wedding party
- Tell the weather outside to STOP
- Curse trees for producing shitty fruit
- Bring people back from the dead
- Go fishing
- Give you food
- Whatever the hell he wants to on the Sabbath
- Make furniture
- Walk across the ocean because you need to stop
This…is the best
As Stalkingstalkerthatstalks said: Canon Jesus is better than fanon Jesus.
Canon Jesus is better than fanon Jesus.
CAN I GET THAT ON A TSHIRT
Fanon Jesus is a white guy who hugs lambs
Canon Jesus is a sassy middle eastern guy who hung out with prostitudes and spread peace and acceptance of everyone
y’all are like “ooh everyone is beautiful” “ooh everyone deserves to feel hot” and then three seconds later you’re making fun of people who cover their acne with makeup and people who haven’t mastered winged eyeliner yet like grow the hell up you don’t get to pick and choose times to be body positive
If you could have your pipe dream of anything happen, what would you love to see happen play out in season 5?
Someone tell me what the big fucking hype is about this blog gnarly?
idk i heard his blog sucks and hes a nerd lmao
I’m onto you Alan.
Alan’s like 😩
Poor thing lost it.
I’d be the same.
We have all been there, Alan.
Still there, grrff! It never ends!
Alan’s face “after snake hips” - watch his eyes get wide. Did he brush up against the ‘Conda?
ROTBTD + Frozen AU: The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
"Do you have a chicken for my table?"
“No—uh, no, my kitchen is out of chickens.”
I would like to thank my arms, for always being by side. My legs, for always supporting me, and my fingers…because I can always count on them.
this will be my speech when i win an oscar
Don’t forget the hips, for not lying.